Partner: The School and Family Working Together

What is a Partner?

A quick Google search will lead you to the definition of partner we are likely familiar with, "one associated with another especially in action" and "a member of a partnership especially in business" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). But unless you are familiar with shipbuilding, or simply one of those people who know everything, you might not know that another definition of partner is "one of the heavy timbers that strengthen a ship's deck to support a mast" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). Personally, I had never known part of a sailboat is called a partner, so another quick Google search will further define what a mast partner is -- it is metal or wood that provides additional support to the deck to hold the mast in place when the sail is used and keep the deck from buckling under the pressure of the wind (Wooden Ships of River John, Maritime Dictionary, The Model Shipwright, Glossary of Boatbuilding Terms).

Used from Naval Marine Archive The Canadian Collection

The School as a Partner

The mast partner of a sailboat provides a wonderful image of what a partnership between a school and its families could, and maybe should, be. In the image to the right we see the partner on the underside of the decking, it is the darkened plank that is a place of support underneath the deck and to the side of the mast. Similarly in the lives of school families, the school as a partner is meant to come under the authority of the parent and support them, as well as come alongside the student and hold them upright when the winds cause strain. 

The school is not the authority, it is the support for the parents. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7 God commands the parents, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way and when you lie down, and when you rise" (ESV). God gave the commission and authority to parents to teach their children. The school has not been given that authority by God but has been invited by the parents to participate, or partner, with them in that command. This is why the school's role is to be a partner to the family, to support and hold them upright.

The Parent as the Partner

Although I believe the school is designed to support the parent and be that "mast partner" to their family, the parent also has a role of partnership. If we want to continue the illustration from the sailboat, we can analyze the image and notice that both the partner and the decking, or the parent and the school, provide supportive roles to the student, or the mast. The decking needs the partner to strength and support, and keep the ship from completely collapsing in a storm.

Parents need schools. They need schools not only to teach their children necessary academic skills, but also to develop character. This is why it is essential for both parents and teachers, staff, and administration to consider one another as a partner. Parents, you need to be honest with the fact your child is not perfect -- if something in their life is addressed, don't be defensive. Kids will sometimes make mistakes, better now than as an adult, and better to catch things when they are small before they get big. And parents, choose to believe the best and try not to jump to conclusions, but also don't sit on something that you feel unsettled about, bring it to the teacher or administration -- they cannot fix what they do not know.

An Effective Partnership

In all the definitions mentioned in the first paragraph there is an indication of unity in working together but no mention of equality. A good partnership between a school and parent require there to be some level of working together in a positive way with the understanding that each party has their responsibilities to the arrangement. To have an effective partnership like this there must be a mutual respect between parents and school staff. 

Mutual respect shows itself in taking the time to consider the other person and being cautious in what is spoken about the other person. It is essential that the school support the parent, and the parent support the school -- especially in front of the student. We may not always agree on every issue, but disagreements should be in adult conversations without slandering either party in front of others. 

I am not saying that parents should teach their children to blindly obey. But I am saying that parents should teach their children respect for their teachers and leaders even when they disagree. Our children need to learn how to respectfully disagree and ask questions. 

And, I am not saying that schools should follow every demand of parents. I am saying, schools were created with specific policies and procedures and must maintain those standards. As parents choose to attend a specific school, they are also choosing to follow that school's policies. But teachers and administrators also need to open enough to hear the concerns of parents and listen to their desires even if they cannot fulfill all of them.

Fathers, mothers, grandparents, teachers, staff, and administrators, we must all guard ourselves from disunity and tearing down our home or classroom by ignoring godly principles. The partnership between families and schools must be protected and care for because we need one another for the benefit of our children's growth both academically and spiritually. We need each other!

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